I Hate Homework

I first started watching Jim Cramer when he was teamed with Larry Kudlow. Their show, interestingly enough called "Kudlow and Cramer" for a reason that has been lost to history, was an evocative blend of financial and political analyses.

I used to watch the show with Szelhamos. He really enjoyed Cramer. Partially that was due to the Lenin-like appearance and probably to some degree owed to the raw emotion and enthusiasm.

I think he also liked Cramer's teeth.Szelhamos judged everything by its teeth. Horses, people, watches.

He would have loved Mad Money, but never got the opportunity. I can actually just picture the look on his face had he ever had the privilege of watching a chair get flung across the studio.

Cramer blocks my tweets, probably due to a misinterpretation of the title of a blog entry "Why I No Longer Watch Jim Cramer."  Although it may also be related to the ill-advised combination of toilet paper and egg home decor that I provided one drunken morning when he got the booth I had my eyes on at The Olive Garden.

Because of that, I won't include the photo of me at what would go on to become the Mad Money studio set, when I auditioned for the part years ago. To see that, you'd have to actually click here.

In hindsight, I should have gone with the goatee, chucked the sports jacket and not sat down.

Regardless, his transition over to Mad Money came at a very critical time during my own investing development and subsequent plunge into managing my own portfolio after 25 years with a trusted broker.

I think that I learned a great many things during the years that I watched the show. In fact, as I used to travel quite a bit back in those days, I actually recorded shows to DVD to carry along with me.

There must be a word for that, but I'm not going to dig up Sugar Momma's copy of the most recent DSM-IV diagnostic terms.

Crazy is crazy.

Among the things that Cramer preached was doing your homework. He always recommended one hour per stock, per week. Because of that heavy time load, he also had a corollary recommendation that you shouldn't own more than 10 stocks at any time.

As he used to say, "What are you? A mutual fund?"

Point very well made.

But on deaf ears.

Even though I was always a good student, those deaf ears weren't really physically incapable, they just had a hard time listening.

You know the kind of person that I am.

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