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I don't watch The Celebrity Apprentice, but you can't escape Donald Trump.
Now, I did used to watch that cult Comedy Central favorite I'm with Busey. That was a show worth watching. Why they don't air the re-runs is unfathomable to me. Shouldn't they be amortizing their production costs by keying in on a whole new generation of people that missed the show during its first and only run?
Borrowing from Stephen Colbert's take on Jon Kyl's Planned Parenthood mis-statement, it is not an actual fact that Donald Trump fell off a motorcycle and suffered irreparable brain damage, helped along in his recovery by his dedicated wet-nurse, Gary Busey.
But it is highly likely.
No doubt that the injury would have been far worse had The Donald's bouffant not cushioned the impact.
Although I don't watch the show, it's also hard to escape the commercials, especially since I'm tuned to CNBC all day long. The Meatloaf tirade and violent outburst toward Busey was frightening.
My quandary is that I used to really like Meatloaf. I actually met him years ago, at of all things, the circus in New York. This big hulk of a man was holding a helium balloon outside the restroom area, waiting for his kid.
Although I don't use public restrooms, I haven't saddled my own children with that neurosis, so it is possible that Meatloaf's kid and my own had adjacent urinals.
I had the chance to say to him "Mr. Loaf, greatest album ever"
I even saw him at a concert just about 3 years ago and barely noticed the mistakes and forgotten lyrics in his set.
The point is, that the sooner Trump announces for President, the sooner they can yank Celebrity Apprentice from the airwaves. Isn't that likely to be reason enough for the guy to run? Let's get this out of our system, along with the whole "birther" issue and get onto the real issues, like is Obama a secret Muslim?
There's no shortage that things that could stand to be yanked from the air.
Let's assume for a blissful moment, that Trump has disappeared from the airwaves, what else needs to go?
As always, I would start with the talking heads. Why I continue to keep them on is another mystery. Clearly, it's a manifestation of my jealousy for not being able to get paid to spew credibly sounding nonsense.
That is, unless you count the incredible blog related revenue.
There's no question that the nonsense in this is in long supply, it's just that the revenue isn't pouring in, although Google does it's share, thanks to their ad placement. Speaking of which, as I sit and watch the pre-open, Google took a nosedive along its historical levels in the $30-40 range in the afterhours.
I was absolutely convinced, because of its price action in the preceding week that it would go up, especially since everyone had already been talking about their increased expenses for the quarter.
As always, their ad revenue was stellar and their CPC (cost per click) income was up 8%. I love Google's ads. They make me money when strangers just click on them for me.
How great is America? No wonder Sergey came here.
In a blatantly anti-semitic move, Larry Page has become CEO (Not a factual statement, thank you Colbert staff writers)
He was loudly derided for contributing a statement at last night's conference call that was barely longer than The Emancipation Proclamation.
Look, he's only been on the job for a week. Lincoln, who died on this date 145 years ago (coincidentally the 44th anniversary of my Bar Mitzvah), had 2 years to work on his statement.
If Google follows its typical pattern in the aftermath of its earnings announcement plunge, it will languish today and then recover its loss over the next 2 weeks.
If you bought shares yesterday prior to the announcement and sold call options, you did receive a $12/share cushion. Roll that over into a May contract and unless Google goes into historically uncharted territory, you will be back in black.
That's probably not very comforting, but read Chapter 12 in the OTP Book, enjoy the fine cartoon by my resident illustrator, Dr. Bob, and learn to embrace a different perspective. You'll be much happier.
As will I if you buy the book.
Between Google and the book, I can fade away and never intrude on your internet waves again.
If only Donald Trump would do the same?