Being like Bolivia

"An historical error."

That's how Bolivia's president, Evo Morales, described his nations's decision to be a signatory to a U.N. Resolution 50 years ago to eradicate the coca leaf within 25 years, as it was designated as an illegal drug in that resolution.

You may better recognize the coca leaf as the precursor to cocaine, crack and Cocoa Pebbles cereal.

Now Morales wants to legalize the coca leaf while at the same time seeking funding for helicoptors and aircraft to crack down on its illegal cultivation.

That previous sentence has a nuance in it, and no, it's not the use of the word "crack."

The nuance is in the definition of "illegal."

In fact, Morales renounced the resolution last year and coca leaf growing is legal in family plots and its use is legal if done so in traditional ways.

Nice. At least there's an operational definition for the "traditional family," as we see its definition undergoing many permutations in the United States.

A family of any size that grows its own coca leaf and uses it in a fashion from the past.

That works for me. There's no dogma. There's no misogyny and it's all inclusive, offering a big tent and welcoming all.

I believe in double dipping when it comes to taking in dividends and option premiums, but Morales has definitely put a new spin on the art of "Double Dipping." Make it legal, but give us the money to ensure that we can eradicate what is no longer an illegal activity.

I can certainly see great demand to bring back the "extended family" to fit into that big tent and adopt compound style living situations to get that family plot to a nice and healthy size to support those "traditional" uses that had previously not been widely divulged.

Forget about "Branch Davidians." Take it right down to the end unit, the "Leaf Davidians."

Certainly, some family units can proudly point to their traditional use of freebasing since the 1970's as a vibrant expression of their cultural heritage.

I know I do as I pray at the Pryor Altar.

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Weekend Update

I got a Tweet from Matt Miller, host of Bloomberg Rewind, yesterday.

Back in November I was a guest on his show.

I'm very upset with Matt Miller. He has completely changed my beloved prime time viewing habits, so much so that Comedy Central executives have checked in on me to see if everything was alright. Maybe it's a kiss of death for a beyond middle aged white guy to say that his show is "hip and happening," but it's really an enjoyable and educational hour to top off the day.

But to paraphrase Christopher Walken, "It needs more TheAcsMan."

Anyway, the day that I appeared happened to be the day when Green Mountain Coffee Roasters was getting hit in the after hours and went down about 40%. Idiot I am, I brought it up during the show, as an example of a company that I had owned. Not because it was a great stock, but because it had nice options premiums, due to all of that volatility, momentum and uncertainty.

Capitalists like to capitalize, but the other characteristics are precisely the things that I profess not to like, but in a Ted Haggard kind of way, fully embrace, sinner that I am.

I nursed shares back by a combination of buying new shares and exercising the strategy that I call "Having a Child to Save a Life", as well as selling puts. Again and again.

It worked.

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At a Loss

It's around 2 PM on Thursday, but for me the trading week has pretty much come to an end and I stand defeated.

Actually, I lounge defeated. It's really the same thing, just more comfortable and can be sustained for longer periods of time.

As I look back at the week I'm at a loss to explain or to rationalize my continued state of existence. If I don't trade, what am I?

The alternative is frightening and brings back memories of the classic TV character, Maynard G. Krebs," when faced with the possibility of having to do something gainful to support his "footprint."

"Work!"

Bob Denver's character's response to the very possibility of having to work was pretty unrealistic as there was really no evidence that he had ever worked before. Of course I know that sounds like someone's mother using the "how do you know that you don't like liver if you've never tried it," but who knows, Maynard may have liked working.

I like lounging.

Tomorrow will be one of those infrequent days that I will be doing something reasonably constructive and venture more than a few feet from my La-Z-Boy perch. As with most of these days, they were planned a couple of months ago and do contribute to that flickering portion of my ego that still requires self-esteem.

Oh, and they pay well, too.

It's just coincidental that it comes at a week when I've done essentially nothing to advance the argument that I deserve to be perched. Imagine that if your prized talking parakeet stopped talking. I'd probably feed that sucker to our dachshund, Laszlo, who would be so totally self-actualized if only he could get a bird between his jaws.

If I can't do my tricks, what reason is there to keep me going and supplied with a freshly lined cage?I had been hoping to keep doing this even beyond the point that they'll have to start lining my La-Z-Boy.

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Price Points

I really don't know anything about "Price Points."

I'm certain that there's a fairly well established discipline that melds economic theory with behavioral science to explain at what point people will be spurred into action.

Call it cost/benefit. Call it risk/reward. Whatever.

I'm not much of a consumer, but I do occasionally get feelings that have to be requited.

Oh, and I buy things, too, sometimes. That desire tends to be inelastic, as opposed to the diminishing elasticity related to the other desires.

I'm not really certain that I've ever been intrigued to buy an item from a retailer just because it dropped its price, other than that DiGiorno Pizza and chicken combo that was on sale a few weeks ago, yet wasn't last week.

Last week, I chose not to buy it, as I made a decision, on some level that's not entirely clear to me, that the cholseterol hit wasn't worth the retail price du jour.

Or is it Di Gior?

Actually, it wasn't the sale price that got me to buy it initially. In fact, prior to that day, I'd never tried one of their products. It just happened that on the day in question the product was prominently displayed and the price seemed reasonable. I never had any idea what the usual price was.

Best of all, both the pizza and chicken actually tasted good. Despite the fact that I'm very far removed from my Bronx roots, I really enjoy good pizza and accept both the short term consequence of heart burn and the longer term consequence of death.

There must be some kind of price point buried in there somewhere, especially when it comes to those longer term considerations.

What I discovered today, though, was that there was a clear price point for my "Option to Profit" book.

Until about 12 AM PST today, you can get it for free to read on your Kindle.

Amazon must know what they're doing, because in just the first 8 hours, more people have demonstrated that their price point is "free," at least when it comes to what I'm offering.

That seems odd, not because there's any great value to what I'm offering, but because at the very same time, for some inexplicable reason, people are signing up to get this blog delivered to their Kindle. They're willing to pay a monthly fee for what they can read for free, or more than likely, choose not to read at all.

This shouldn't come as a complete surprise, since a couple of months ago, the book became enriolled in Kindle's lending library program, where Amazon Prime members could download the book for free.

Free.

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Is 2012 the new 2011?

I've never been one to follow fads. I probably wouldn't even recognize the most outrageous of  fads even when at its full height.

The New Kids on the Block will be collecting social security before it dawns on me that they have come and gone.

I do recall occassionally having wondered why women weren't wearing lime green jump suits as much as they used to, but would never have noticed in real time that orange had become the new lime green.

Or maybe it was the other way around and lately, as it is, I haven't been seeing quite as many of those orange jumpsuits, either.

For the most part social trends escape me from a cognitive perspective as well as from an application perspective. My inability to fathom the basic tenets that belie chart analyses are consistent with the fact that I'm "trend challenged."

But I am looking pretty sharp in my new Nehru jacket and that has to be worth something, especially in 1968 dollars.

I did notice, however, that on Monday we were poised for a triple digit loss, which would have been a first for 2012. As it would turn out, all bout 15 points of that loss were erased and 2012 just kept right on being 2012.

I had also noticed that the smartest of the smart had been calling for a return of the 2012 gains for the past 3 weeks. They did so based on the well known statistical model based on the spins of a roulette wheel, that demonstrably indicate a string of reds are highly likely to be followed by a black.

You can bet the house on that one.

But it was hard not to notice that Tuesday's open was going to be something new and harken back to something old.

2011.

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Case of the Mondays

I spent more than my usual share of time this weekend re-watching old movies on Comedy Central.

If you read yesterday's blog, "Market Crashers," you'd already know one of the movies. Despite what your mother may have said about how TV will kill your brain cells, I find it useful for creative inspiration. Besides, that's much easier than having to actually interact with anyone.

Although I have no doubt that I am beginning to lose some of those brain cells, I'll never pin it on my viewing habits. One of the really great things about starting to lose some of those brain cells is that regardless of how many times you see a movie or a show, somehow it still manages to surprise. I'm sure that I've written that before, but even then, it's still funny, in a poignant sort of way, to me.

See what I mean.

That was also the case watching the cult classic "Ofice Space," on Comedy Central, the cable station where commercial failures go for new life.

It probably works out that way because it's really hard to smoke weed in the movie theater during the first run of movies that go on to become cult classics. It's also hard to make it to the theater if you started smoking weed beforehand, thinking that the weed is way overpriced at the concession stand.

The cult, in case you didn't know, smokes lots of weed. There's no other plausible explanation for why the mere mention of "TPS Reports" elicits spasms of laughter.

Right.

As opposed to much of the world, and definitely the downtrodden characters in "Office Space," I always look forward to Mondays. In fact, even when I was a contributing member of society, I had nothing against Mondays.

These days, the only Mondays that I don't care for are the Federal holidays, with all due respect to dead Presidents, laborers and others deserving of retail sales events. It's all simply because the stock markets are closed.

Otherwise, Mondays are like a re-birth.

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Market Crashers

I wasn't always a creature of habit. Although I could never have been accused of wantonly dipping into the deep end of the pool, I wasn't totally closed to the ideas of trying something new. It's not that I feared the new and unknown, it's just that there was so much comfort and security in staying with the tried and tested.

Danny Kaye, comedian and unlikely movie star from the 40's had a great joke about the immigrant who used the only words he knew of his new country to order the same thing at the diner every day for 5 years.

"Coffee and donut."

The joke is too long to tell here and the accent very difficult to emulate, but you could probably look it up. Anyway, the punchline also happens to be "Coffee and donut."

The fact that I get upset when even a 30th run of The Simpsons or COPS is pre-empted on a weekend evening, though, is still upsetting to my routine.

Obviously, I'm mature enough to understand that social obligations should be spared my indignation, but is there a reason why we can't all just "early bird" everything?

This weekend was yet another of those that COPS wasn't where it was supposed to be. I know that I could probably have trolled through the cable channel universe and come up with some 24/7 COPS network, but I needed it to be on my usual station. Afterall, I only have about 4 channels in my universe and the same number of buttons on my remote.

Instead, there was some bizarre show featuring Jennifer Lopez and the guy she used to be married to, on some kind of adventure to discover talent in Latin America.

And so my limited channel surfing took me to Comedy Central and I settled in on watching 2005's "Wedding Crashers."

I had completely forgotten just how funny that movie had been, although admittedly earlier in the day I'd also forgotten that I had left the neighbor's cat in the microwave.

After finishing the movie, I'd come to the realization that the misunderstood and artistically brooding brother of the family, "Todd" was a character that completrely channeled Christopher Walken's portrayal of "Annie Hall's" brother "Duane" almost 30 years earlier.

If I were a real artsy sophist type, I'd venture an opinion that the oncoming headlights shining on Woody Allen's frightened face in that memorable scene were in contrast to the darkness that emanated from within Duane.

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Weekend Update

This has been a busy week, but not so much for me.

It figures that on the week that the blog begins its apperance as an offerng by Amazon Kindle Subscription services that I would miss two days worth of blogging.

But only in America can you choose to pay for a subscription service to have a blog delivered directly to your Kindle when you could just as easily opt to not read the blog online.

And for free.

What really doesn't figure is that there are actual subscribers.

First of all, special thanks to Tony Vahl of The Original Daily Skew for authoring a guest blog this week. I had enough foresight to arrange for that, but not enough to consider the fact that I might be somewhat under the weather. So much so, that I barely even made trades for two days and when I did, I think they were through the lens of a Percocet fueled analyst.

As if I ever practiced any form of analysis.

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Missing in Action

For those who noticed by absence, thank you.

The rumors of my death were much under-stated.

Was it the lack of the daily T-Shirt/Coffee mug combo that you missed, the irrelevantly annoying Tweets or the blog entries?

Due to unexpected and delayed reaction following a minor "shvontz" related procedure on Monday, I wasn't able to do any of those.

I made a few trades and had enough neural function to realize that the much anticipated rise in precious metal prices that I expected during Ben Bernanke's congressional testimony, in keeping with the reaction to his last three public outings, didn't materialize.

Just when I thought I had it all figured out. I still don't think he said anything much different from the last times, but I suppose that's why I'll never run with the big boys.

At the moment, I'm doing my best to stagger.

Anyway, I hope to be back tomorrow.

In the meantime, here are the trades made over the past couple of days.I bear no responsibility for them. All I know is that I received e-mail confirmation indicating that the trades were made. Apparently, my induced and receptor flooded side prefers selling puts.

I'm going back to bed. There's another drug induced nymph beckoning to me.

Check out Recent PortfolioTransactions and Transaction Performance 

Law of Large Numbers

It seems that as everyone is all a buzz about Apple, the nay-sayers are beginning to pop up.

Again.

Most recently, the nay-sayers were prepared to pocket their profits after Apple disappointed those expecting an announcement of a dividend or stock split.

The funny thing is that the "buy on the rumor and sell on the news" kind of thing never happened.

It's sort of maddening when the script isn't followed and the Talking Heads are left out to dry and quickly disavow their admission of shorting shares. Although to be fair, there were plenty of Apple bulls to be found, as well.

Ordinarily, any company climbing as much, and as rapidly as Apple has in recent months, would have sold off on the realization of good news and would most definitely have plummeted on the news not having been realized.

Instead, there was no reason for Steve Jobs to roll over. The kids he left to take care of the place didn't trash it at the very first opportunity. It's almost as if they actually cared about their legacy.

No dividend, no split, no Flash.

Among his other positve attributes, you probably have to add "respect for the sacred" to Tim Cook's list.

But the re-appearance of the nay-sayers is only natural.

They popped up briefly when the iPhone 5 failed to appear, but still, it's easy to understand why being a nay-sayer is so appealing.

No one remembers the guy who climbed aboard the moving train, but everyone remembers the guy that decided to take the train when it was  subsequently learned that the plane he was supposed to take ended up crashing.

That guy was a genius.

With excitement growing about some kind of iPad product release, shares have moved up to another all-time high. It seems that latter part of the preceding sentence could have been said any number of times since I lost my Apple shares to assignment at $425 not that long ago.

Now, every cynic is citing "The Law of Large Numbers" as a reason to be wary of investing in Apple.

As anyone knows, investors pay for future growth. Also, as anyone knows, according to Woody Allen, an investment is like a shark, in that it has to "constantly move forward, or it dies."

I try not to burden myself with knowledge or accepted wisdom and I don't mind distorting quotes or taking them way out of context.

I do like to wait for the next train though, rather than trying to catch a speeding one that's already left the track.

For me, Apple has left the track, but I also think that the shark will soon stop moving, but certainly not to the point of death. It will still be menacing to others by virtue of its size and reputation and occasional demonstrations of past glory.

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